Thursday, June 2, 2011

Exposing False Heroism

I'm not going to tell any of ya'll what to do or what not to do. But I will tell you this... That this is how NOT to be a Superhero... Whether you want to be an actual superhero or a fake superhero is up to you, I'm just showing you the difference between false heroism & real heroism. I'm going to use a few made up examples, using humor to make some really good points in pointing out false examples of heroism that are being praised out there, while real heroism gets condemned, by some of the very people who claim to the title and get glorified for it. And people fall for it a lot. I'm here to expose it.


Greetings, Citizens and Fellow Super Heroes,

This is The Cellphone Sentinel speaking! Last night I patrolled with my partner on my Cellphone Avengers Team, known as Citizen Special! Even though I'm 3 lbs overweight, I figured I should patrol anyway, because my weight doesn't matter, you don't even have to try that hard to be a super-hero it's really easy, just as long as you mean well and have a flashy costume, a cool name, and a good working cellphone, that's really all you need in order to be a superhero.

Anyway, Citizen Special and I patrolled only two hours from 8:00PM to 10:00PM.

At 8:22PM, on 12th Street, in the middle of my city, we got laughed at by a few bystanders. A few women pointed and laughed at us... I think they liked us. The rest of the patrol was pretty boring. I was thinking to myself, "Man, I wish there'd be some crime for us to stop tonight!"
So, anyway, at around 9:43PM, little Billy was getting attacked on the corner by some crazy punk with a knife. "HELP ME, CELLPHONE SENTINEL! HELP ME! I'M GETTING ATTACKED!" Just then, me, having the fastest cellphone dialing finger on the east coast, tried to call 911, but my phone battery was low, so Citizen Special used his cellphone instead, dialed 911.

"911 What's your emergency?"

"Greetings, good citizen! I'm Citizen Special! Perhaps you've heard about me from the latest issue of the Times Magazine, or seen me in my latest-----"

"----Sir, what's your emergency?"

But unfortunately, it was too late for Little Billy. He was already dead. Blood everywhere. The stupid punk with the knife threatened Citizen Special with the knife and told him "Gimme your wallet, punk!" But Citizen Special didn't want to make matters worse. His life is worth more than all the money in his wallet. Plus, he didn't want to get his costume ripped, it costed him a lot of money!

I figured I would do the smart thing since superheroes need to be smart, so I ran away, and looked for the nearest pay phone I could find!

Citizen Special and I found each other about 15 minutes later. There was another woman who needed help finding her missing kid, but Citizen Special and I were really shaken up and it was coming to the end of our patrol so we decided to go home.

I think it was a successful patrol. Even though there was a casualty, we did the right thing.


Meanwhile, they end up posting this on some unnamed forum for other people who think they are superheroes. They were praised for their bravery in the face of danger and did the right, smart thing, and made it home safe. They were comforted by the words of people telling them that bad things like that are likely to happen every now and then, and that they can't really do anything about it.


Then, one day it turns out that Master Legend was out on his way to work for some people who needed a skilled man to do some tree work that day at a certain place. Master Legend had a weird feeling that he should go down this certain road, even though it was out of his way and he was already running a few minutes late because he had to help an elderly neighbor with an injured arm bring in their groceries, so he went and made a right turn through this one neighborhood anyway. He sees smoke so he gets to the location quick. There's no way inside the small apartment building, so he runs and jumps right through a window, breaking right through it. He quickly gets through all the rooms, kicking down doors all over the building, luckily he was able to help save every single person in the building and get them all outta there in time, not a single person there was hurt, thanks to Master Legend jumping in to action, but unfortunately, Master Legend did suffer a few cuts and bruises, and some burns on his arm, but this kind of stuff was nothing new to him.

So, he arrives at work, gets there about 25 minutes late. "Sorry I'm late, man! I had to save some people from a burning building." A few people laughed at him saying "Yeah right", but the boss man just shook his head, and with an impatient and annoyed attitude responded "Well, you're late. Are you still gonna work?" But not a single one of them asked him if he was alright, nor the details of what happened, nor did any of them seem to care.


Master Legend posts about this on his Facebook. Everyone puts him down as crazy, stupid, dangerous. They make claims that he was breaking and entering, that he should've just done the smart thing and call 911, because that would have been the right thing to do. That he could've gotten himself or someone else really badly hurt, or even killed, and that he was getting in the firefighters way and that he should'a just let them do what they were trained to do. People start making threats against him also begin to turn against him because now it's the popular thing to do, and nobody wants to be associated with him (except for a few loyal friends), because being his friend is bad for their public image. Because a lot of them would rather look like a hero to the world, rather than be a hero, in the eyes of God.


Oh wait, what's that? President Obama nominates Master Legend for the Presidential Citizen's Medal?

The second highest civilian award in the United States? Yes. Oh, look! Now all the supposed-superheroes who put him down are all trying to be his friend because now it's the cool, popular thing to do and they're claiming that they never meant any disrespect to him before.